Holiday Stress

The winter holidays in the US are all about “more is more” – more shopping, more presents, more parties, more of everything.  The stress of making it all happen, especially for moms, starts sometime in November and continues pretty much non-stop until we collapse the day after Christmas.  Brainstorming how we can do it differently this year seems like just another post on our “to do” list.  Maybe you can take some pointers from the following article, adapted from MINDFUL magazine, December 2014, (embellished by S Reichert MD).

The holiday season can be challenging.

Our “to do” lists are huge, so we race through each day, trying to get things accomplished, and often end up feeling stressed.,  This year, add some sanity pauses to your schedule to calm the chaos and help you embrace the potential for joy that the season presents.  Here are ways to help you be more mindful this holiday season.

1) Go deep

Take time to reflect on what the spirit of the season means to you.  Become aware of how powerful and beneficial feelings of love and compassion toward others can be at this time of year.  Deepen that experience by reaching out to share it.  Attend a group practice, a church service or volunteer at your community center.  Being part of something bigger can help you remember your true focus.

2) Devise a big stuff strategy

Plan well ahead, making decisions for yourself and jointly with others about what will happen during the holidays and who is responsible for what.  Allow ample time for everyone to make arrangements and accomplish their share.  Obtain consensus that, unless there are critical unforeseen events, plans will not change.

3)  …and a small stuff strategy

Spend 5 minutes every morning planning your day. Sit with a cup of java or tea and write out an action plan.  Include time for meditation, some fitness and self-care.  Think ahead about healthy meals and how you plan to cook or buy them.  Especially during hectic days, your plan will help you stay focused.

4)  Banish stress by taking moments to pause

Our lives can be very stressful during the holidays.  Take time to meditate – sitting, walking, wherever you can find ten or more minutes to break from your action-packed life.  In moments of stress, it is in our power to step back, breathe, notice the sensations in our bodies, examine them with curiosity and release tension that may be creeping up on us.  Allowing ourselves to step inside – away from the chaos and demands – and focus on only the present moment then gives us a fresh outlook when we re-join our day and move on.  A more peaceful disposition may be the best gift you can give yourself and the one most appreciated by others.  Try it out every day for the weeks leading up to holidays and see how much better you feel.

5)  Manage expectations

Most of us have unreasonable expectations about what constitutes the “perfect” holiday.  Examine your ideas about what will make this year more satisfying for you and those you love.  Eliminate things that do not add to your overall happiness.  Notice patterns you may retain from old family holidays which bring up negative feelings, require a lot of your energy and add to your stress.  Resist doing things just because others expect you to perform in a certain way.  Say “no” when tasks or even invitations do not elevate your holiday experience, but drain you and dampen your mood.  Be true to yourself.  Break free from negative “traditions” and politely choose to take care of yourself.

6)  Change it up

No need to repeat old holiday traditions that may have run their course.  Drop those that no longer serve and substitute something fresh and enlivening.  Pot luck for holiday feasts saves one person from carrying the whole burden of cooking.  Instead of large scale gift-giving, consciously choose fewer family gifts and do more charitable giving.  Start a tradition of engaging in one new game or project the whole family can enjoy.

7)  Resist the urge to over-spend on gifts

Happiness is not dependent on the stuff we possess.  It’s good to model this for kids early in their lives.

8)  Be grateful

Scientific studies have shown that people who practice gratitude are more optimistic, feel happier, and are more connected to others and the world.  Focus on all you have to be grateful for and invite your kids and others to do it too.

9)  Come up with a gesture to center yourself

Create a phrase or a gesture or play a piece of music that instantly grounds and connect you to who you really are.  Then say it, play it, or do it several times a day and, especially, whenever you feel rattled.  It can be as simple as saying, “This too shall pass,” blasting your favorite guilty pleasure song or clutching the locket you wear around your neck.

10)  Go for long walks

In Central Oregon, we are blessed to have no shortage of choices of places to walk in the beautiful outdoors.  Enjoy a “walking” meditation – paying attention to all the beauty to see and hear around you and fully appreciating your body moving through it.  Convince friends to walk with you.  Bonus:  Cold weather exercise burns more calories than in warm weather.

11)  Keep your sense of humor

Try not to take life or yourself so seriously – a sense of levity is enormously helpful in times of stress or distress.  Life is funny, so laugh loudly and often, whenever you can, and ink some fun onto your December calendar.  Doesn’t have to be elaborate, just something to look forward to – preferably something not holiday-related.  Watch a funny movie, take the kids to cosmic bowling or have friends over to play Jenga.  You’ll feel less bogged down if you sprinkle the holidays with normal activities that you enjoy.

I wish you a contented, delightful and peaceful season.